Last night I was feeling really down, and my dear friend Jenna wrote me the most perfect response that is insanely right. Honest, and heartbreaking, but right.
"Men are not what they used to be, and neither are women. Unfortunately, we live in a world of mass miscommunication, narcissism, inauthenticity, and a severe lack of intimacy. It doesn’t surprise me that girls only seem to find guys that are idiots and guys only meet girls that are insane, and then when normal people come along, they assume everyone is the same and they fuck it up."
I love you dearly, Jenna. Thank you.
This followed one of my rantings of asking ” Why can’t things just be simple? Hey I’m attracted to you and you seem to be attracted to me, let’s not be mean and be nice to each other and see what happens. No mind games allowed.” I genuinely said “why can’t men do what they used to, walk up to a house, knock on the door, ask the father of the house if they could take their daughter out and so on” I know it’s from a different time and just doesn’t exist anymore but dear god do I ever yearn for things of that nature. I’m old fashioned, yes, but it just seems that back then things were more simple. No over-analysing texts, no “oh I don’t want her to know I like her yet” or “you don’t want to seem too available to him” Why not just “hey want to go steady?” (yes 1950’s) “hey would you like to go on a date sometime?”
All of my friends blame this state of mind based on the fact that i’m “innocent.” I have never been in a relationship with a man. No boyfriends. But the funny thing is, after 22 years of being single and having watched my parents having, pretty much, a perfect marriage for 36 years and seeing all of my siblings being married, I have learned a lot. Honestly most of it seems like common sense to me. Other funny thing, despite the fact that I’ve been single my entire life, my friends all come to me for relationship advice and when they are having problems with their significant other. Why? Why ask the person who has never been in a relationship? Because I’ve always had common sense when it comes to things like this. BECAUSE THIS SHIT SHOULD BE SIMPLE. Be considerate, be loving, be giving, be together and above all have fun and have a good time. I’m an old fashioned gal and this is all lumped together and not eloquent, but It’s just what’s lurking inside my head poking through.
Granted, I’m weird and awkward, but mainly because I don’t know how guys in today’s society really work. I don’t know what’s too little and what’s too much. Anytime I’ve been talking (“talking” a.k.a. texting) to a guy, 90% of what’s being said is guidance from my friends.
Let’s just be honest. Let’s just talk, like human beings. Stop being scared, stop putting up walls, and be fucking real.